Its nice to know there are people out there wishing me well. It also makes me feel kind of shy. I dont know what i was expecting when i started this, ive never done this before. I dont know if i am going to be able to keep it up,i dont seem to know much right now. What i do know, is I HATE THIS. didnt sleep very well last night, & i still had it in my system a bit. Had the last tarry smear out of my smoking tube this morning, so now it really begins. Already, I am fighting the strong urge to get on my bike & ride around looking for the dealer.Before i get to weak & darent go too far from a toilet. I have already looked on my phone, under missed calls, in case i still had his number, but i didnt. Theres a horrible taste in my mouth & i feel cold. Ive been here so many times, the longest ive lasted is 3 days, on my own.It was different in rehab, but then i was far from home, & I had no money. Not having a choice, makes it easier. Its still a horrible experience, but I didnt have to fight my own mind the whole time. That is the hardest thing. It doesnt matter how resolute i start off. When the cravings kick in, that all goes out the window. I am so scared. I HAVE TO DO THIS. God help me.
