hell. i was sposed to start on the methadone today. i got woken up at 8.40...on a SATURDAY! by a woman from bloody virgin media, asking about the bill i paid yesterday, which only exists because they took a direct debit off me 6 days earlier than they said they were going to, leaving me overdrawn when im not allowed to be & facing a £35 bill from the bank. they then had the cheek to send me the bill with £10 late payment fee + £10 failed payment charge. i called them yesterday & had a good old go at them & they took off the £20 with huge apologies, & i paid the rest yesterday afternoon. only to be woken by this snotty woman this morning. I was so angry, i must have ended up sounding like a cyberman, was almost foaming at the mouth. I hate everyone in the world ANYWAY before ive had my coffee, but incandescent with rage barely covers my mood this morning! so i thought fuck it, one more day, then i start being a good girl again. i know i have to do it now, & i think i have proved to myself that i CAN do it. i just have to stick with it this time, come what may. & may is BOUND to come, the universe loves to test our resolve, usually when it is at its weakest. all i can do, is do my best i spose. Its a weight off my mind to be rid of that boy. i found a nest of white cider cans behing my sofa today. disgusting little hipocrite. still...hes GONE! i cringe that i ever let him touch me. i wish there was a delete button for that one. so. its back to being a lone musketeer & fighting the good fight one more time. wish me not luck, but strength.
